Бесплатный фрагмент - The thorny path

ABOUT THE BOOK

A story from the life of Samina Shumyakova, a contemporary writer of romance and fantasy novels.

INTRODUCTION

On a spring evening in 2000, at 4:10 p.m., a small, dark-skinned girl with eyes as black as the night sky, weighing 2,720 grams and standing 47 cm tall, let out a deafening cry.

While still in her mother’s womb, our heroine experienced the beatings her mother endured during her pregnancy, as well as her father’s reluctance to accept her birth.

Initially, the little girl was going to be named Svetlana, but her father, realizing that despite all his efforts, the girl would still be born, wanted to name his unwelcome daughter Sami or Mili. However, the heroine’s mother did not like these names, but since the first letter of Sami was similar to the name Svetlana, they decided to use the ending of the Russian name and named our heroine Samina.

Who would have thought that a little girl who had been bullied since childhood, who had experienced beatings and emotional turmoil due to various rumors about herself that filled her small town in Belarus, and who had grown up in a poor family, would be able to keep her faith and achieve her dream of moving to Russia and also become a writer?

But first things first…

CHILDHOOD

Shumyakova Samina was born in Belarus in the spring of 2000.

I was my parents’ illegitimate child. From the moment I was born, I was very thin (to give you an idea, I’m 24 years old, I’m 148 cm tall, and I weigh 34 kg. And no, I’m not anorexic. I eat more than enough, but I still don’t gain weight, and I’m not prone to being overweight). My mother had to have a cesarean section to give birth to me and my brother due to their health conditions. According to my own mother, my father was quite a cruel man — he beat my older brother, not wanting to accept that he was born from another man, even before he met my mother. He raised his hand on my mother herself, not wanting my birth. He even gave money for an abortion, but my mother spent it on sweets, and told my father that according to the doctors, it was too late to do an abortion (although it was not too late). When I was born, I was quite fussy like most newborns, which made my own father want to throw me from the ninth floor where we lived (we lived in a nine-storey dormitory near the Berezina River bridge). Over time, my father came to terms with it and even loved me, but three years after my birth, he became a member of the Jehovah’s Witnesses sect.

Until I was 5 years old, I was raised in a boarding kindergarten with my brother (until he started school). At the age of 5, I was transferred to a regular kindergarten near my home. I attended this kindergarten until I started school at the age of 6.

I still remember my first visit to this kindergarten. I cried a lot, afraid that my mother would leave me there. But when my mother came to pick me up in the evening, my joy knew no bounds.

When I was five years old, my father and mother separated because of his betrayal, and I didn’t see or communicate with him for over two years. In kindergarten, I struggled to connect with the other children. They avoided me and bullied me, I believe, because of my unique appearance. This treatment in the childcare environment led me to withdraw and become quite shy, causing me to immerse myself in children’s books while the other children played.

At the age of 6, I started attending Gymnasium No. 2, which was located near my home. I didn’t get along well with my classmates right away. They also avoided and bullied me because of my appearance. Even my elementary school teacher showed clear dislike towards me, unlike the kindergarten teacher I had grown accustomed to. My academic performance was below average. I had a particular interest in Russian literature and music.

At the age of 7, I went to a sanatorium with my brother for the first time. I didn’t like it at all, because I wanted to spend the summer at home with my mother, rather than going to an unknown place. I remember one particular moment… It was a night, and all the teachers were asleep, I assume. My brother and I were alone in our room, sleeping on a bunk bed. Suddenly, in the middle of the night, I heard my brother gasping for air. I ran out into the hallway and called for help, but no one came, as if no one was there. When I returned to the room, my brother’s condition had improved, and he even tried to comfort me so I wouldn’t cry.

At this age, I also joined a dance club that was located in the dormitory where I lived. I enjoyed dancing, but it didn’t last long because I had a performance coming up, which I wasn’t prepared for, and I ended up leaving the dance club due to my stage fright. Additionally, at this age, I was able to reconnect with my father for the first time in a long time, and I would visit him at his new apartment on weekends. I enjoyed spending time with my father, as he had a computer that he had specifically purchased for me, and I loved playing on it. I had a lot of discs with different games. In addition, my father played the guitar and even taught me to play the melody of the military song «Katyusha». And, of course, he bought me various sweets. My father continued to attend Jehovah’s Witness meetings every Sunday, and he took me with him. However, I did not support this sect, but I did not express any negative feelings. Although, to be honest, I did have friends outside of school, and I enjoyed spending time with them in abandoned, unfinished buildings, rescuing and caring for cats. We used to meet every day, but that was until one of my friends, who lived in the same dorm as me, passed away. It is said that he was murdered. He was in a coma for several weeks before he died. At the same time that I found out about his death, another friend of mine, a dog that I often spent time with, also passed away. It was my neighbor’s dog. The dog died from poisoning, and I remember that there were rumors that someone had intentionally poisoned it. Both of these events had a significant impact on me, and I spent the entire day crying. Since then, our company has gradually disintegrated.

At the age of 10, I had to take an exam after the fourth grade of gymnasium, but I refused to do it, which led to my transfer to High School No. 1, which was a 10-minute walk from my house, where my older brother studied. In high school, I still didn’t get along with other kids, but I made a friend who, like me, wasn’t popular among her peers. Additionally, I developed a crush on a boy in my class, but he didn’t pay any attention to the shy and petite me. I was the shortest and looked much younger than my peers. In high school, I added cooking and Russian language to my favorite subjects, along with Russian literature.

At the age of 11, I stopped communicating with my father. He was deported from Belarus. I was very upset at the time, as I knew that I might never see or hear my beloved father again. However, I found solace in reading romance novels, which I purchased from newsstands, and in listening to the songs of the popular band «Ranetki».

At the age of 12, I tried cigarettes for the first time, but I felt nauseous and stopped after that. A little later, at the same age, I almost drowned, but I was saved. Since then, I’m afraid to go deeper than my waist in water.

At the age of 13, I was able to contact my father in Vietnam for the first time. Since then, we have been talking on the landline on a regular basis (we now actively communicate via Facebook). It was also at this age that I first registered on the social network Odnoklassniki. This was in 2013. At that time, the topic of vampires, werewolves, and magic became very popular among young people. I had been drawn to this since the release of the TV series “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Many people at that time liked to play popular characters from Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, and The Originals. And of course, I couldn’t stay away. I took on the role of a vampire girl who was left with only her father. Together, we created a clan, and the role-playing father even had a new wife and daughter.

In this game on the social network Odnoklassniki, I found a second family, friends, and also experienced falling in love. Yes, I met another role-player there, and fell in love with him. Because of this, I spent most of my time on this social network. It was at this point in my life that I joined the goths and started writing poetry. The role-player I fell in love with was charming, funny, and had an attractive personality. However, it didn’t last long. A few months later, this game came to an end. I continued to keep in touch with role-players from time to time, despite my breakup with my first crush. That’s how I found out that the person I fell in love with was 24 years old at the time. I saw photos of him. He was quite handsome. I continued to feel attracted to him even after I stopped communicating with him. The breakup was painful for me, and I decided to write my first book, which I titled «Sophie’s Return». I wrote this book in a notebook with 24 pages. After finishing my first work, I immediately started writing a sequel, which I called «Sophie and Karin». I wrote both of my first works in a notebook, but I never finished the second book.

And, it would seem, what kind of love can be at the age of 13? It even sounds ridiculous. And I completely agree with this. Now, at the age of 24, if you look at it from the outside, it really looks quite funny. And I would even from my point of view in the first person, I could say that yes, it was complete nonsense, not love. But no, looking back now, I clearly realize that I experienced this feeling too early. Perhaps it was influenced by the absence of a father I missed, which is a plausible theory. However, the fact remains. It wasn’t love — definitely not. But it was a pure, intense infatuation.