Бесплатный фрагмент - Digital Value Model. Introduction to dVM

DISCLAIMER AND WARNING FROM THE AUTHORS

This work is a collection of principles, methods, memes, and provocations born within an experimental approach to project management known as the Digital Value Model (dVM). It is not the ultimate truth, but rather a compendium of our mistakes, bruises, and failures.

At the time of this publication, the model has been tested for two years in several closed groups. There are already some initial results, but it is far too early to speak of statistical significance or representativeness — the cohort of participants is too small, and the data still require verification and checks for systematic error. In the absence of control groups and randomization, we refrain from categorical conclusions and operate only with qualitative, not quantitative, insights.

One thing is clear: dVM is “luxury” — available only to those ready to embrace uncertainty and work within methodological chaos.

The authors and publisher hereby disclaim any and all responsibility for:

Any direct or indirect consequences, losses, or damages resulting from the application, misapplication, or misunderstanding of the methods and ideas presented here.

Broken relationships with clients, investors, stakeholders, or colleagues; collapsed teams; voluntary or forced dismissals of employees unable to survive the dVM-chaos; financial losses and reputational risks.

Your professional and existential burnout, psychological trauma, damaged psyche, loss of motivation, loss of faith in humanity, or other forms of mental discomfort.

Somatic consequences: bile overflow, nausea, loss of potency, hair loss, insomnia, boiling of indignant reason, and other adverse bodily reactions.

Irrecoverable loss of time wasted on reading, pondering, or engaging in meaningless arguments about this methodology.

The authors also bear no discursive, legal, or karmic responsibility for your behavior after reading this book and are under no obligation to explain “what they meant.”

WARNING: The Digital Value Model (dVM) is a naked live wire. It does not incite, ignite, or call for anything. It merely shows what is beautiful and/or ugly.

For whom it is meant: Strong professionals and teams able to distinguish metaphor from instruction, a joke from a directive, and cynicism from common sense. For those who can filter noise and adapt absurdity to their own context.

For whom it is not: The foolish, the naive, the weak of spirit, the morally unstable, and those who seek simple answers and step-by-step instructions. For them, dVM will burn out neurons, wreck careers, and spit out the unprepared user.

This work contains provocative, unconventional, and intentionally destructive approaches, and may include scenes of intellectual violence and explicit language.

Do not apply this model thoughtlessly. In fact, do not apply it at all. You have been warned.

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Introduction to dVM

Dynamic Value Model: A New Operating System for Modern Teams

In the world of project management, methodologies abound — each with its own strengths and blind spots. Some champion agility, others swear by structure.

Agile, Scrum, Kanban, Lean, XP — all promise adaptation, efficiency, and waste reduction.

Waterfall, CPM, CCPM — offer predictability for those who plan years ahead and march through phases with military precision.

But what if both approaches have limits?

What happens when Agile descends into chaos, and Waterfall drowns in bureaucracy?

Meet dVM — Digital Value Model.

This is not just another methodology.

It’s a practical operating system for teams that value results over rituals, outcomes over optics, and real value over process theater.

dVM absorbs the best of both agile and waterfall worlds — with one critical rule:

If it blocks progress, it goes to the trash.

No exceptions.

A Brief (and Slightly Embarrassing) Origin Story

The first version of dVM was called Degeneracy Vegetables Model — purely for laughs.

But when analysts, DevOps engineers, team leads, QA specialists, UX designers, and other guardians of product sanity realized they had stumbled upon a universal framework, it was time to get serious.

What began as a joke became a survival kit for teams drowning in stand-ups, retrospectives, and Jira tickets that go nowhere.

Today, dVM is a proven tool that moves teams forward — without unnecessary ceremonies, pointless meetings, or the illusion of productivity.

What Does dVM Deliver?

✔ Balance — between Agile’s chaos and Waterfall’s rigidity

✔ Focus — on value, not process masturbation

✔ Flexibility where it matters, structure where it counts

✔ Real metrics and clear success criteria — no vanity KPIs

In this guide, we’ll unpack the core principles of dVM and show why it’s not just an alternative — it’s the next level of project leadership.

The dVM Mindset

dVM is built for a world where:

— Deadlines float.

— Tasks vanish.

— Products emerge from chaos.

— And the only constant is change.

It’s not about doing things perfectly.

It’s about cutting the noise, killing the waste, and delivering what actually matters — fast.

Welcome to the future of work.

Welcome to dVM.

Core Principles of dVM

Vibe Is Everything

In dVM, vibe is the leading indicator of success.

If the atmosphere is stale, the project is already dead — no matter how perfect the roadmap or how aggressive the deadline.

Team morale is more important than frameworks, ceremonies, or even deliverables.

Because no process can save a team that has lost its will to move.

“If the vibe is off, nothing else matters.”

Iteration for the Sake of It? Go to Hell

dVM rejects ritualistic iteration — the kind of sprinting in place that passes for progress in many Agile teams.

We don’t iterate to feel productive.

We iterate to move forward.

If a task doesn’t push value, speed, or clarity — it’s not just low priority.

It’s waste.

And waste goes straight into the bin.

If You Didn’t Hide — You’re the One to Blame

Change is constant.

Markets shift.

Requirements mutate.

Clients change their minds — again.

In dVM, there’s no time for excuses.

You either adapt — or you end up cleaning the backlog of eternity.

Survival belongs to the agile, not the complacent.

Agile Purists, Step Out

Methodologies without soul are just process masturbation.

Endless retrospectives.

Jira tickets that live forever.

Stand-ups that solve nothing.

dVM doesn’t need rituals.

It needs motion.

Decisions are made in real conversations — not in soulless reports.

Ideas are challenged — not worshipped.

“Is this bullshit?”

That’s the first question every idea must answer.

And if the answer is yes — kill it.

Before it kills the project.

Ultra-Violence: A Methodology of Pressure

In dVM, violence isn’t literal.

It’s methodological.

We call it Ultra-Violence — a controlled, intentional application of pressure to accelerate learning, expose weaknesses, and force decisions that would otherwise take months of polite discussion.

Why It Works

Context justifies intensity.

When a deadline burns because of last-minute changes, a sharp reaction isn’t toxicity — it’s accountability.

Pressure builds cohesion.

Teams that endure stress together — trust each other.

Humor disarms toxicity.

When you call your process “epic escalation mode”, you’re not toxic — you’re meta-ironic.

“We’re not late. We’re increasing the epicness level.”

This is Rorschach meets Lean Startup — brutal clarity wrapped in dark humor.

1. Hypotheses Under Pressure

Traditional hypothesis validation is slow:

Gather data.

Run surveys.

Hold alignment meetings.

Run cautious A/B tests.

dVM flips the script.

We test ideas under extreme pressure — because real markets are extreme.

The dVM Approach:

Short timelines: If a hypothesis can’t survive 48 hours of brutal execution, it dies.

Brutal questioning: Every feature is grilled: “Why does this exist? Who needs it? What pain does it solve?”

Shock therapy: Users are exposed to raw, unfinished versions of the product — not to “get feedback”, but to trigger real reactions.

Example: Instead of a soft A/B test, we roll out a radical UI change without warning.

If users adapt — the hypothesis stands.

If they revolt — we roll back. With insights.

Speed wins. Perfection loses.

2. Customer Development at the Edge of Collapse

In dVM, customer interviews are stress tests.

We don’t ask: “What do you think?”

We ask: “What pisses you off the most?”

Or: “Which feature would you pay for — right now?”

The Rules:

Only hard truths allowed.

No vague praise. No “it’s nice”. Only pain points.

Forced exposure: Customers use the product in its worst state — to reveal real needs, not polite suggestions.

Empathy through crisis: We don’t just listen — we create conditions where users must react honestly.

Example: Before launching a new interface, we give power users a closed beta — with no instructions.

Who breaks first? That’s our weakest link.

3. Product Development Through Chaos

Product development in dVM is not Waterfall.

It’s not even Agile.

It’s controlled chaos — where progress is measured by motion, not documentation.

The dVM Rules:

Ship until someone screams.

If no one in Slack is yelling — you’re not moving fast enough.

Bugs are features.

If users start using a bug on purpose, it’s not a bug. It’s a feature that needs a better name.

Code should be feared.

If a piece of code becomes legendary — don’t refactor it.

Treat it as sacred legacy.

Example: A new API is launched without documentation.

Only those who reverse-engineer it can use it.

This isn’t dysfunction — it’s natural selection.

4. Growth Through Suffering

In dVM, growth comes from pain — but pain with purpose.

We don’t suffer for fun.

We suffer to get better.

The dVM Way:

Critique at maximum intensity:

Every mistake is dissected — so it never happens again.

Trial by fire:

New hires are thrown into the most critical projects.

They either survive — or become an internal legend.

Zero pity:

If you don’t like being roasted for bad code — write better code.

Example: A junior dev writes a slow SQL query.

As a gift, they get a dataset of 10 million records and the full server load log.

Lesson learned. Forever.

Conclusion: dVM as a School of Radical Growth.

Ultra-Violence in dVM is not about chaos for chaos’ sake.

It’s about:

✔ Fast selection of winning ideas

✔ Honest, brutal feedback

✔ Constant pressure that makes teams stronger

✔ Cultivating mastery through pain

Yes, it’s extreme.

But in a world of relentless competition and shrinking timelines, moderation is failure.

dVM doesn’t promise comfort. It promises dominance.

dVM Team Structure

Roles, Rituals, and Controlled Chaos

dVM thrives in teams of 7 to 25 people. This size allows for maximum agility, deep collaboration, and resilience under pressure. For larger organizations, the model can be scaled through autonomous dVM units, each operating independently but aligned with the company’s overarching strategy.

This structure preserves flexibility, adaptability, and operational speed — critical in the fast-moving world of software development.

Core Roles in a dVM Team

Owner

The Vision Keeper

The Owner defines the product vision and makes final strategic decisions.

They align the team’s output with customer expectations and market needs.

Acts as the primary interface with stakeholders, managing their expectations with clarity and, when necessary, creative ambiguity.

In the absence of an Owner, the PM inherits the role — often with tragic consequences.

Crab Master

The Facilitator of Order (Through Chaos)

The Crab Master ensures the team functions cohesively during the battle — dVM’s two-week development sprint.

They facilitate meetings, mediate conflicts, and keep the team focused on outcomes.

— Primary tool: The DDD Diagram (Dude Degeneracy Diagram or Degenerative Degradation Diagram) — a behavioral map of team dysfunction.

— Last resort: Phallositation — the ritualistic “sitting on a bottle” of team members who disrupt the vibe (Dolbaeb, or “degeneracy dude”).

— Conducted in private, one-on-one sessions — for maximum impact.

Ideal candidates: former intelligence officers, ex-military, or reformed Scrum Masters who’ve seen the light.

Trigger Engineer

The Business Pulse Monitor

The Trigger Engineer analyzes the team’s reaction to business demands.

They optimize processes, verify contracts, and ensure cash flow integrity.

— Resolves minor team conflicts.

— Uses the feedback loop: “Pizdoshno / Roskoshno” (“Painful / Luxurious”) — a binary metric of emotional impact.

— Ensures the business side doesn’t accidentally kill the vibe.

NetArchitect

The Keeper of the Stack

The NetArchitect designs the system architecture and selects the technology stack.

They enforce architectural principles and ensure the network stack remains full — a sacred duty.

— Prevents semantic drift: “If everyone calls it an interface, it stays an interface.”

— Monitors stack health like a priest guarding a relic.

TeamVibe

The Mood Architect

The TeamVibe leads the development team, assigns tasks, and monitors delivery.

But their true role is emotional regulation.

— Plays music to elevate energy.

— Tells jokes in the chat to defuse tension.

— Solves technical issues — but only if it improves morale.

A failed deployment is acceptable. A broken vibe is not.

MDA (Mood & Adventure Lead)

The Soul of the Party

The MDA partners with TeamVibe to maintain team spirit.

They organize offsites, battle retrospectives, and ensure the team never forgets how to have fun.

— Must possess authentic optimism and, preferably, an altered state of consciousness.

— Responsible for emotional sustainability.

EHA (Easy/Hard Admin)

The Swiss Army Knife

The EHA handles a wide range of tasks:

— Researches problem domains.

— Evaluates task effectiveness.

— Maintains the backlog.

— Logs chat messages.

— Archives VHS tapes (yes, really).

Additionally, they pre-warm game controllers before team parties.

— Reports directly to the Crab Master.

— Can act as interim Crab Master during leave.

— Serves as a critical liaison during scaling.

Kashew

The Anti-Role

We do not keep nuts or other pointless nonsense in the team.

Kashew is not a role. It is a warning.

Project Manager (PM)

The Diplomat of Illusions

The PM manages timelines, budget, and quality — in theory.

In practice, they coordinate with vague commands like “Fix it!” and communicate with clients using the “All is well, beautiful marquise” protocol.

— In mature, self-organizing teams, the PM may be absent.

— But they’re always welcome at parties.

Software Developers

The Code Warriors

The Developers write code and implement product functionality.

Includes front-end, back-end, mobile, and AI specialists.

— No titles. No hierarchy. Just code.

— If it breaks, you fix it. If it works, you improve it.

HR Lead

The Gatekeeper of Chaos

The HR Lead manages hiring, onboarding, and retention.

Knows Agile — but knows when to go to hell with it.

— Oversees employment contracts and documentation.

— Resolves workplace disputes — often in collaboration with PM and Crab Master.

— Performs other duties as assigned — usually involving fire extinguishers.

KarmaPolice

The Unfeeling Enforcer

The KarmaPolice automates development, testing, and deployment pipelines.

Analyzes every team member’s action with zero empathy, scoring performance on a strict point system.

— Works with liters of whiskey, not HR policies.

— Shares punitive authority with the Crab Master.

— Monitors infrastructure to ensure system stability.

— Typically, an experienced DevOps engineer who’s lost faith in humanity.

CE (Cones Engineer)

The Reality Checker

The CE performs QA functions, ensuring test coverage and relevance.

Works with KarmaPolice and PM to align development with the product roadmap.

— Prevents developers from over-engineering or building unpaid features.

— Often a former military officer with an athletic build and a leather coat — for psychological effect.

— Ensures the product remains lean, mean, and billable.

PussyMan

The Morale Booster

The PussyMan maintains team motivation and spirit.

Responsibilities include:

— Organizing team-building events.

— Filtering escort services for company parties.

— Delivering sweet drinks and wet wipes after battle completion.

— Occasionally bringing snacks from MDA.

A vital role in high-stress environments.

Wall Admin

The Breacher

The Wall Admin can “break walls” — both metaphorically and, when necessary, literally.

— Solves impossible problems.

— Opens blocked doors.

— Sometimes uses a crowbar.

Hozayin (Big Admin)

The Infrastructure Sovereign

The Hozayin manages infrastructure and procurement.

Holds the right of first choice for escort services — a sacred privilege.

— Acts as system administrator, ensuring uninterrupted operations.

— Orders equipment for NetArchitect and the team.

— Collaborates with PM and KarmaPolice to maintain technical excellence.

— Requires oversight from PM, TeamVibe, and MDA — and support from PussyMan.

UX/UI Designer

The Caffeine-Driven Creator

The UX/UI Designer develops the user interface and ensures product usability.

— Drinks coffee for the entire team.

— Creates mockups, prototypes, and ensures the product is intuitive.

— Often seen muttering: “Why did they do this?!” while staring at legacy code.

M$ (Ma$cot, “Softie”)

The Team Mascot & Stress Test

M$ is the team’s mascot — a deliberately chosen outsider.

Selected based on a distinguishing trait: gender, age, nationality, height, weight, or species.

Purpose:

— Acts as a stress-testing mechanism.

— Probes team cohesion through provocations and intolerant jokes.

— Monitors empathy levels by questioning a member’s sexuality or right to be on the team.

Requirements:

— Must be emotionally stable.

— Under constant supervision by Crab Master, TeamVibe, PM, KarmaPolice.

— Daily analysis by Trigger Engineer.

— Rotated regularly to prevent adaptation.

Ideal Candidates:

— Former stripper or webcam model.

— School IT teacher working as a junior dev.

— Agile specialist (for irony).

— Assembly language programmer.

— Dwarf, one-eyed person, African-American, ethnic Korean, or someone from Ussuriysk.

— Sea turtle.

— Parrot.

M$ is not a role. It is a survival drill.

Conclusion: Structure as Controlled Anarchy

The dVM team structure is not about clear hierarchies or well-defined responsibilities.

It’s about controlled anarchy — where every role exists to challenge, provoke, and accelerate.

— Crab Master maintains order through ritual.

— KarmaPolice enforces discipline with data.

— M$ tests empathy through cruelty.

— And everyone else just tries not to break.

This is not a team.

It’s a combat unit disguised as a product squad.

And it works — because chaos, when managed, becomes speed.

Management Styles in a dVM Team

Traditional management offers a range of leadership styles — from autocratic to servant leadership.

dVM has taken these models, stripped away the dogma, and rebuilt them for a world of permanent uncertainty, controlled chaos, and emotional endurance.

Below are the five key management styles found within a dVM team — each a survival mechanism in its own right.

1. The Bureaucratic Style (aka “Jira Circles of Hell”)

Practiced by the Project Manager (PM), this style is based on the belief that any problem can be solved with more process.

Tasks are logged in Jira, Trello, Notion, and Confluence — sometimes all at once.

Discussed in five different chat channels.

Then subjected to four layers of approval.

Signs:

— No task can begin without a 20-page requirements document.

— Every action strictly follows the process — even when the process clearly doesn’t work.

— Legend has it that a task was completed once, but no one could find the corresponding paperwork.

Pros:

Minimal chaos. Everything is documented.

Cons:

It takes five lifetimes to ship one feature.

“Process is not a tool. It’s a religion. And we are all sinners.”

2. Servant Leadership (aka “The Buddha Who Burns but Smiles”)

Embodied by the Crab Master, this style is rooted in empathy and facilitation.

The leader sees their role as removing blockers, nurturing the vibe, and guiding the team through suffering — not by giving answers, but by asking painful questions.

Signs:

— Instead of “What the hell is wrong here?” ➪ “Let’s explore this challenge together.”

— One-on-ones happen more often than team meetings.

— The team does what it wants… and somehow, it works.

Pros:

High morale, strong emotional safety, deep trust.

Cons:

Can feel like a hippie commune where no one knows who’s responsible for what.

“Compassion is powerful. But too much of it turns velocity into a group hug.”

3. Authoritarian Style (aka “The Rock Doesn’t Negotiate”)

Used by Hozayin and NetArchitect when the system is on fire.

In this mode, there is no discussion.

You are told what to do.

You do it.

Questions are not allowed.

Signs:

— A meeting lasts 2 minutes: “You do this. You do that. Questions? There are none. Dismissed.”

— Slack messages: @everyone — why is this not done yet?

— Code reviews feel like an Inquisition.

Pros:

Tasks get done. Fast. No one slacks off.

Cons:

High risk of burnout — or mutiny.

“When chaos reigns, only tyranny brings order. Briefly.”

4. Non-Intervention (aka “God Is Tired. You’re On Your Own”)

The preferred style of Wall Admin, who believes that grown-ups should solve their own problems.

Philosophy: “If you’re a developer, you probably know how to Google.”

Signs:

— Every question is met with: “RTFM.”

— The leader doesn’t interfere — until the server crashes or someone quits mid-sprint.

— Culture of self-organization through pain.

Pros:

Maximum freedom. No micromanagement.

Cons:

No one knows if they’re doing it right — or even what “right” means.

“Autonomy is great. Until you realize you’ve been building the wrong thing for three weeks.”

5. dVM-Chaos (“Fire Extinguisher Party”)

An exclusive style, effective only in mature dVM teams.

Here, leadership is a mix of panic, improvisation, and memes in the team chat.

Signs:

— All plans are made 5 minutes before the deadline.

— Complex problems are solved by: “Whoever shouts louder wins.”

— M$ regularly stress-tests the team by announcing: “Release is tomorrow.”

Pros:

Extreme flexibility. Creative problem-solving. No time for bureaucracy.

Cons:

If you don’t love chaos, it will break you.

“We could do it right. But where’s the fun in that?”

Conclusion: Chaos Is the Culture

Each style has its place.

But dVM-Chaos is the true essence of the team’s philosophy.

It’s not about efficiency.

It’s about survival through absurdity.

It’s not about control.

It’s about moving forward when all systems fail.

And yes — it’s exhausting.

But it’s also alive.

Team Perception: A DISC Model Interpretation

To understand how roles react under pressure, we apply the DISC model — a behavioral assessment framework.

This model helps the team understand conflict, predict reactions, and assign roles based on natural tendencies — not job titles.

Final Note: The AI Chatbot — Your Silent Observer

A best practice in dVM teams is to deploy an AI-powered chatbot in all communication channels.

It:

— Logs all conversations.

— Enforces communication rules.

— Maintains a list of banned words and topics.

At the end of the week, it:

— Generates performance and peer approval metrics.

— Awards humorous titles (e.g., “Chief Chaos Officer”, “Zen Master of Jira”).

— Flags underperformers as pidr, jackal, or pidr/jackal — by degree of degradation.

A vital tool for the Crab Master and KarmaPolice.

Not for transparency.

But for truth.

Rethinking the Triple Constraint

From Time-Cost-Quality to CHAOS-PAIN-FUN

In traditional project management, the Triple Constraint (or “Project Management Triangle”) defines success through three fixed parameters:

— Time — how fast the work can be delivered.

— Cost — how much it will cost.

— Quality — how well it’s done.

Change one, and the other two shift.

Want it cheaper? You’ll sacrifice speed or quality.

Need it faster? Prepare for higher costs or lower standards.

But in the real world of IT product development — especially in high-pressure, fast-moving teams — this model is outdated.

It assumes predictability.

It ignores chaos.

It pretends that emotions don’t matter.

In dVM, we’ve replaced the triangle with a new triad:

CHAOS — PAIN — FUN

Not as a joke.

As a survival framework.

1. CHAOS

The Engine of Innovation

CHAOS is the level of uncertainty, change, and irrational decisions within a project.

How It Affects the System

— Too little chaos ➪ The project becomes slow, bureaucratic, and lifeless.

— Too much chaos ➪ It spins out of control — but unexpected breakthroughs emerge.

— Optimal chaos ➪ No one fully understands what’s happening, yet decisions are made faster than they can be canceled.

How It’s Managed

— No documentation — because it would only get in the way.

— Sudden priority shifts — to keep the team alert.

— “Let’s try and see what happens” — the core strategy.

— If chaos is too low, it’s artificially injected through spontaneous retrospectives with contradictory conclusions.

“Chaos is not a bug. It’s the feature.”

2. PAIN

The Fuel of Growth

PAIN is the level of discomfort caused by lack of resources, time, or meaning.

How It Affects the System

— Too little pain ➪ People relax. The project turns into a corporate zoo.

— Too much pain ➪ People quit. Managers burn out (Notion dark mode becomes a lifestyle).

— Optimal pain ➪ Everyone suffers — but feels the thrill of it.

How It’s Managed

— Deadlines are always tomorrow — no exceptions.

— Shared suffering — builds team cohesion.

— The “Who Suffers, Grows” methodology — suffering is not avoided. It’s celebrated.

“Comfort is the enemy of progress.”

3. FUN

The Glue That Holds It Together

FUN is the degree of enjoyment the team gets from the process — despite the chaos and pain.

How It Affects the System

— No fun ➪ People get angry, passive-aggressive, and start sabotaging.

— Too much fun ➪ Work turns into an endless brainstorm with no results.

— Optimal fun ➪ Jokes, sarcasm, and memes make the pain and chaos bearable.

How It’s Managed

— Cult of memes and funny titles (“Chief Chaos Officer”, “Zen Master of Jira”).

— Roast sessions instead of feedback.

— The belief that work should be more fun than Jira tickets.

“If you’re not laughing, you’re not surviving.”

The New Balance: Not Quality, But Emotion

In traditional project management, quality is the goal.

In dVM, the goal is emotional equilibrium.

We don’t aim for a “perfect product”.

We aim for a system that can generate absurd but working solutions faster than competitors.

The balance of CHAOS, PAIN, and FUN keeps the team alive, moving, and — most importantly — together.

So, when someone asks a dVM team:

“What’s your project management methodology?”

The answer is simple:

“We’re just trying not to lose control of the chaos, not die from the pain, and not forget why we started.”

Statistical Project Management in dVM

Metrics, Chaos, and the Art of Controlled Madness

Traditional project management relies on rigid methodologies, predictable plans, and sanitized KPIs.

dVM operates differently.

We don’t fight chaos.

We measure it, manage it, and turn it into a competitive advantage.

In dVM, statistics aren’t about control.

They’re about survival.

Shewhart’s Criterion in dVM: The Index of Predictable Chaos (IPX)

Shewhart’s criterion is used to assess process stability.

In dVM, we’ve reinterpreted it as the Index of Predictable Chaos (IPX) — a real-time gauge of team health.

— No deviations?

— ➪ The team has fallen into bureaucracy and degradation.

— Alert: Project is dying of boredom.

— Deviations within control limits?

— ➪ The project is alive, unstable, but manageable.

— This is optimal. Welcome to dVM.

— Everything is out of control?

— ➪ It’s just another normal working day.

Conclusion: A project is stable if chaos has structure.

Chaos Metrics: The dVM Way

Instead of soulless KPIs, dVM uses dynamic, emotionally charged metrics that reflect real team dynamics.

Expectation vs. Reality Curve

— We plot the client’s expectations as a smooth, optimistic line.

— Then we plot actual delivery — a jagged, chaotic line with crashes and explosions.

— If the lines don’t match? Perfect.

— As long as the client is surprised but satisfied, we’ve won.

“Clients don’t want predictability. They want drama with a happy ending.”

WIP (Work in Progress) in dVM

In classical Kanban, WIP limits tasks to prevent overload.

In dVM, WIP is the maximum number of tasks a team can handle before mass resignation.

— Too low WIP?

— ➪ Not enough challenge. Team is bored.

— Risk: Slow death by apathy.

— Too high WIP?

— ➪ Team is officially in crisis.

— But the project is moving.

— This is acceptable. Even desirable.

“If no one is screaming, you’re not pushing hard enough.”

Quadratic Deviation: The Metric of “Effective Suffering”

In dVM, schedule variance is not a failure.

It’s a measure of emotional engagement.

— Low deviation?

— ➪ Team is too predictable.

— Danger: Innovation is dead.

— High deviation?

— ➪ Team is in a state of creative suffering.

— Good. This is where breakthroughs happen.

— Catastrophic deviation?

— ➪ Team is in peak creative crisis mode.

— Ship it before they recover.

“The greater the deviation, the higher the chance your project will be talked about.”

Goal-Setting Frameworks in dVM

We don’t reject frameworks.

We remix them — with irony, pain, and a dash of nihilism.

1. SMART — The Classic (But Boring)

For those who prefer missionary position.

— Specific: “Fix the bug” ➪ bad.

— “Fix the iOS auth bug” ➪ acceptable.

— Measurable: “Make UI nice” ➪ bad.

— “Achieve NPS ➪70 among QA” ➪ better.

— Achievable: “Build AGI” ➪ fantasy.

— “Deploy ML recommendation model” ➪ doable.

— Relevant: No “just because” goals.

— Time-bound: “Someday” ≠ “End of Q3”.

“SMART is safe. But safe is slow.”

2. CLEAR — For Lavender-Raf Drinkers

For teams that value vibe over velocity.

— Collaborative: Goals must excite everyone.

— Limited: Don’t do everything. Do what matters.

— Emotional: If it doesn’t give you chills, forget it.

— Appreciable: Break the elephant into bites.

— Refinable: If everything’s falling apart — change the goal.

“CLEAR is SMART with soul.”

3. PURE — For Those Who Want to Suffer (But Not for Homosexuality)

The masochist’s framework.

— Positively stated: “Don’t use hacks” ➪ “Write clean code”.

— Understood: If no one gets it — cancel it.

— Relevant: No busywork.

— Ethical: Yes, even in dVM, we have limits.

“PURE is for teams that want to suffer with purpose.”

4. MoSCoW — Priorities for the Chaos-Addicted

— Must-have: Without it, everything dies.

— Should-have: Important, but can wait.

— Could-have: Nice to have. If we have time.

— Won’t-have: You were too good for this world.

— RIP, beautiful idea.

“MoSCoW is the only framework that allows for grief.”

5. WSJF (Weighted Shortest Job First)

For product bros and Scrum masters who love spreadsheets.

WSJF = (Value) / (Effort)

— Higher score ➪ do it first.

— Lower score ➪ do it never.

“It’s not about what’s important. It’s about what’s worth the pain.”

6. Eisenhower Matrix

What your dad taught you when he was sober.

— Important & Urgent ➪ Do it now.

— Important, Not Urgent ➪ Schedule it.

— Not Important, But Urgent ➪ Delegate it.

— Neither ➪ Fuck it. Open an IPA.

“The only matrix that respects your time and your beer.”

7. ICE (Impact, Confidence, Ease)

For marketers who love acronyms and hate accountability.

— Impact: How big is the win?

— Confidence: How sure are we?

— Ease: How fast can we do it?

Sum it up.

Highest score wins.

“ICE is for those who want to feel scientific while guessing.”

Conclusion: Mix, Break, Adapt

In dVM, you can mix frameworks like a DJ.

Use SMART for deadlines.

CLEAR for team goals.

MoSCoW for prioritization.

ICE for quick calls.

But remember:

Vibe and common-sense matter more than any methodology.

We don’t follow rules.

We create conditions where results emerge from chaos.

And if it works — we’ll probably break it tomorrow.

MVE vs. MVP: The dVM Take on Early Delivery

In classical product development, the Minimum Viable Product (MVP) is the baseline:

a product with just enough features to be usable,

launched to test assumptions and gather feedback.

But in dVM, the MVP often becomes something else entirely:

MBP — Maximum Broken Product.

A hastily assembled, half-baked release that works in theory but collapses on first contact with real users — and then burns for months in technical debt.

That’s why dVM doesn’t do MVPs.

We do MVE — Minimum Viable Experience.

MVP vs. MVE: The Fundamental Difference